Still in pain

My ovaries are rebelling on me. As long as I do nothing too "strenuous" my ovaries and I have an agreement to get along. However if I do anything to piss them off they let me know it. Apparently my body does not want me doing kettlebells. I did some sit ups and twists last night while watching the Biggest Loser. Today I am cramping like there is no tomorrow. I am so over this. I am going to call my OBGYN tomorrow to see what is up. I cannot live a sedentary life. I will not be fat and I will not live like this. I am done. I thought the Lurpon was supposed to help, but after my last shot I have been is such pain. Not to mention I am so cranky and bitchy right now.

I can't remember

Still taking Lupron and oh my, my memory is shot. I forget what I am doing more often than not. Today I forgot to make Aden's lunch for school and remembered as we were walking out the door. Then this afternoon I forgot where I parked my car at Target. I was wondering aimlessly around the parking lot to find it. This may be the most annoying side effect to date. The pain is starting to subside again, which is wonderful. I am still using the Vivelle patch and although I have a hot flash here and there, they are very manageable. One more shot to go and then I have to make the decision if I am going to have the hysterectomy or not.

Been away again

On Friday I received a phone call from my sister letting me know that my brother in law was going to have a open heart surgery to repair a broken heart valve. She wanted me to come to Ohio and be there with her. Of course there was no way I would say no. My wonderful friend Jodi volunteered to go with me and drive. We made it to the hospital right when he was coming out of surgery Thankfully the surgery went well and he is now recovering in the ICU. I was so scared that he would die and he almost did. He was basically drowning in his own blood. It was originally diagnosed as pneumonia last week, which mimics the symptoms of congestive heart failure. I am so glad that he was at the hospital when he was or I may have still been in Ohio consoling my sister and burying Robert. I am so thankful that Jo was there for me and for my family.

Oh the pain

I have been having such bad cramping and pain in my lower back since I received my shot on Monday. It is bad enough that even vicodin is not taking the pain away. I don't know if this is normal but I suppose I will call my doctor in the morning. On top of that I am also getting a cold and or ear infection. At least the pain pill took away my ear pain for now. I just want to be healthy. Is that too much to ask?

MANIC MONDAY

Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth? I would, only because when I have a nightmare I can usually wake myself up from them. I think being "wealthy" would be a big stress relief.

What was the most recent movie that made you cry? I can't think of the last movie that made me cry but the last show that made me cry was Biggest Loser. There is a contestant on there that has been through what to me would be the worst thing ever: losing my spouse and kids to death. I am not a big crier but her story got to me.

Would you rather be stranded on an island alone or with someone you hate? I would say with someone I hate. Who knows, maybe we could put aside our differences and get along. I would hate to be stranded completely alone, I would go insane.

Shot number 2

Today was my second shot of Lurpon. I have a screaching headache and a three year old who is full of piss and vinegar today. I forgot how bad the headaches are at the beginning. My lower back hurts, I have cramps, and I am oh so tired. The cloudy day may be causing the fatigue but ugh, I want to go back to bed! Hopefully this months shot takes the pain away! Well I better go ice my bum bum or it will be sore!

Cold sore

Yup, I have lip herpes. I was not sure if it was MRSA since my 6 year old has that currently on his thigh. I ended up going to the doctor to find out that it is simply a cold sore. After doing some reading they can be linked to hormonal changes. Hmm, can't think of a reason my hormones are outta whack! lol The estrogen patch is working wonders. I know longer have the night sweats and have to sleep with my arms and hands near the window. I hope things keeping going this well. My second shot is on the 21st.

It has begun...........

Today I got my first full blast hot flash. Oh my, it made me so nauseous. I ended up applying a Vivelle Estrogen patch and oh what sweet relief. I am still a bit queasy and have no appetite but at least I can function. After a long nap I also have a bit of a headache. Hopefully the patch keeps the sickies at bay. It reminded me way too much of my pregnancies with my boys.

Saturday 9

Saturday 9: You Like Me Too Much

1. If everyone liked each other, what would we complain about? Our spouses, PMS, politicians, our body shapes. The list is endless.

2. If you were most powerful person in the world, how would you use that power? wow. Really I would never want to be the most powerful person. That is way too much responsibility and you are the first to be blamed when something goes wrong. I would give the power to someone else to deal with.

3. If had exactly one year to live, what are the three things you'd want to do before you died? I would want to spend as much time as I could with my family and friends, go to Hawaii, and ride a dolphin.

4. If you could change one thing about the world, what would that one thing be? Poverty. It amazes and saddens me that in our world people can be so poor that they have no place to live and no food to eat. In America of all places, this should not be happening.

5. If you could take one thing back, what would that one thing be? My attitude in the past. I hurt people and I feel bad about it.

6. If you were stuck on an island forever but had all the water, food and shelter you needed. What would be the three other things you'd bring with you? Books, my cell phone, and my computer. I would needs lots of books though!

7. If the internet didn't exist, would the quality of life go up or down? For some, it would improve their lives greatly. The internet is so addictive. On the flip side, without the internet it would be harder to stay in touch with people from your lives, and can you imagine using the library for research and info instead of Google? I do not think I could live without Google.

8. If a million dollars fell off a back of a truck, would you keep it? If there was no way I was ever going to get caught.... hellz yes. If I had a million dollars I would be able to live on it the rest of my life and leave some for my kids. With a million dollars I would pay off my house and debt and my husband would work just part time. The rest would go into the bank.

9. What is something you said, something you stole, something you did wrong? Last night I told Aden how proud I am of him for being so brave when I have to drain the infection from his leg. Once I stole Viagra from the pharmacy I worked for. I had read that if women use it, it can make the O more powerful or something. Yup, didn't work and I fell asleep for most of the time it was in my system. I do lots of things wrong, I have the worst coordination. Sometimes if I want my husband to do something and he is procrastinating I will do it wrong because I know then at least he will come home and fix it. I did this recently when I wanted some photos hung on the wall and I had waited months for him to do it. I apparently used the wrong nails and when he came home he fixed the nails and straightened the pictures. Works every time.

Saturday 6

6 questions on this beautiful Saturday brought to you by Saturday Six

1. How do you feel when something is scraped down a chalk board? It makes me want to break something.
2. If you won a big amount on a lottery, what would be the first thing you would buy? I would buy new furniture for my entire house and then I would pay off my house.
3. Cheese or Pineapple? Cheese!
4. Elephant or Mouse? Elephant. How cute!
5. What’s the first object you see in your room that is yellow? A manilla folder with all of our important papers inside it.
6. Early riser or late sleeper? Late sleeper. I am so not a morning person at all.

Lupron

Still nothing new on the Lupron front. Same symptoms as before. Every day I keep waiting for my ovaries to begin their long siesta but alas they won't nod off. Last night I had some ovary pain right before bed and I kept getting hot and then cold, all night long. Really though, compared to other blogs and sites I have read, I cannot complain at all.

Are you ready for some football?!?!?

In the past few years I have really gotten into college football. My brother is a senior at Ohio State, so naturally that is my all time favorite team. Good thing they are good. I am so not a fan on fall. Now don't get me wrong, it is a beautiful season with all the leaves changing colors. However fall makes me sad, because I know the long harsh winters of Michigan are on the way. I am so not a fan of cooler weather, or that dreaded "S" word (snow...ewww) so fall to me is the preamble of winter. At least I have football on Saturdays to help pass the time.

Thursday 13

This is my first Thursday Thirteen I hope you enjoy it!

13 Moments I will never forget! (In no particular order)

1. The day my boys were born. These 2 days were so amazing and emotion filled. I love them more than I could ever have imagined.
2. The night my brother was born. It was a stormy cold winter night. My grandmother came in and told my sister and I that we had a baby brother. He was 2 months premature and had many health issues but I loved him from the moment I saw him. We are still close to this day.
3. Meeting my husband for the first time. We met online and then he decided to drive to Ohio to meet me. I was so scared. I also knew and told a friend he was the man I was going to marry. Little did I know that it would take 11 years to do so.
4. My Mom's cerebral aneurysm. I still remember this day as if it were yesterday, even though it has been 5 years. It ranks up there as one of the worst days of my life.
5. My Dad's heart attack while my Mom was in ICU for her aneurysm. I remember him calling me and telling me he did not feel well and that I needed to come to his work. It was horrible when I walked in and his coworkers told me that he was having chest pains and an ambulance was on the way. This is another of the worst days I can ever remember.
6. September 11th. I do not know how anyone who lived through that moment in history will ever forget that moment. I was in bed and Mike called to tell me to turn on the tv. It was horrible.
7. My wedding day. Oh I was so nervous that I actually threw up in Jo's driveway. I so tried not to cry during my ceremony so instead I giggled hysterically. Oh what a moment.
8. My Grandfather's funeral. I was about 6 at the time and I can still feel his coldness to this day. I remember kissing his forehead and he was so cold. I do not think I can ever erase that memory, it still gives me chills.
9. The first time Mike told me he loved me. We were in his truck and oh how I loved him.
10. Aden's first day of school. It was just one year ago that I had to face the facts that my little boy was not so little anymore. Of course I cried. It was so hard.
11. The motorcyclist that drove into my Dad's car, head on. On our way to vacation a man riding a motorcycle and no helmet hit some rocks during a turn and crashed into my parents car, which was right ahead of the car I was in. Watching the man bleed and convulse was horrifying. It seemed to take the paramedics forever to get there. To this day I cannot stand the sounds or sight of motorcycles.
12.The day we bought our new house. Well it was new to us, then. I love my house. I can see myself living here until we die (or divorce) whatever should come first. Ha!
13. Telling my Mom that I was pregnant the first time. Oh my, was I scared. I could not tell her for the first few weeks. It was not until I became very ill and had to go to the hospital that I IM'd her on AOL messenger to give her the news. Of course she told my Dad, who then called me. I was more afraid of him, than I was of her. They took it well and were very supportive. It was much worse in my head.

Ughhhh..... my weight

One of the problems with having too much estrogen is that you gain weight, mostly on the middle part of your body. I had worked so hard in the past year to drop some weight and then all of the sudden.... BAM!!!!!!!!!!! It came back again with my lovely cyst. I am now trying to lose it again, although I have lost some of it. It is just so frustrating when I did not "do" anything to gain it in the first place. I am currently participating in a Biggest Loser challenge and hope to drop some of this stubborn weight. My biggest challenge right now is exercising. I rode my bike for 6 to 8 miles the other night and felt great. I do not mind working out when I get out of the house to do it. I need to be in a zone, without kids, without constant interruption. Once I start doing it, I am great at it. I am also apprehensive about doing too much right now because I do not know how it will make me feel the next day, pain wise. I am so afraid of that darned ovarian pain coming back that I am scared to do my pilates core exercises. I want to slim down and look smoking hot on my 30th birthday which is a little less than 3 months away. I can do it. I think I can.... I think I can......

School's back from summer!

Aden started first grade this week, while Cohen is going to 3 year old preschool. Aden enjoys school, but would rather stay home and play video games. Cohen on the other hand seems to love school and cried when he did not get to go yesterday. It is not easy to explain to a 3 year old that he only goes to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays when his big brother is going all week. I hope the rest of the school year goes as easy as this first week has. Cohen has not cried at school when I have left him yet. He just sits there and waves at me from his carpet square, while other kids are running around and screaming, trying to get out of the room. It is almost comical to see these little kids. Of course I would not feel that way if it were one of mine. Thankfully both my boys seem to be okay with separation from Mommy, although that was not always true with Co-man.

Been away

I was away last week on vacation with my parents and this is the first week of school, so things have been crazy. The only new side effect of the Lupron would be the night sweats that wake me up. The past two nights I have been so hot at night. I am pretty sure I had a cyst that ruptured last week on vacation. After that I did not really have any ovarian pain until today when I was cramping pretty badly. I am scheduled for my next shot on September 21st. My OB called in some Estrogen patches that I am supposed to use if the hot flashes start to bother me. I am 2 weeks and 1 day from the 1st shot and so far I am glad that I went ahead and got it. The horror stories I have read scared me, but so far so good. Let's just hope it keeps up and shuts off my ovaries.