Monday, December 14, 2009

It's Over.

Well I did it. I had my hysterectomy and turned 30, within a day of each other. I never thought that I would be uterus and ovary free at this age. Well really I never guessed I would ever be without them. I am having a hard time getting over the fact that they are gone, even though I had no plans to use them ever again. I am sure it is all related to the fact that now I have no CHOICE in whether to use them again. So here I am, 30, post menopausal, with this dandy little estrogen patch stuck to my rear end. I am not sure what to feel. People ask how I am feeling and I don't really know how to answer. Do they mean physically? Physically I feel good. Not great, but I haven't felt great in months. I am tired. I am sore, but no more pain daily like I was getting used to. Emotionally I am a roller coaster. I doubt that is what people are asking though when they ask how I am feeling. But there it is. I am an emotional mess right now. I am trying to find the perfect estrogen balance within my body and it is not easy. Hell going from way too much estrogen to none at all has been insane. The hot flashes, oh my!! I was outside in freezing temps with no coat. I have my own built in furnace, perhaps I am becoming a werewolf. Well I would think that except my hair is falling out. It is a good thing I have very thick hair to begin with or I would be well on my way to sporting a new Skullette. I definitely have my ups and downs. All in all I am more content and happy with life but I guess I am still sad over the fact that this has all happened. I was sort of attached to my female reproductive system, if you know what I mean. I see the doctor this week for a 2 week follow up. I am starting to feel more tired now than I was last week since I have returned to my Mommy duties now that Mike has gone back to work. I am still not ready to tackle most of the housework and spend most of the day in my bed on my computer but I am slowly getting back to normal.... well I suppose my new "normal".

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